Inner War
by britchick
Summary: Madison goes for a Sonogram and comes to a decision. Kind of inspired by the first episode of the new season. Oneshot only.


A/N: I don't own any of this. You know this and so do I.

Madison looked around the room. Naked from the waist up, she lay on the examining table. It wasn't really a room anyway. More of a curtained off area in a hospital ER. She smirked to herself. It wasn't the kind of medical care she was used too. Other than these past three months in Denver, her entire live had been spent in Everwood. The only doctor she had ever seen was Dr. Abbott. Well, except for that one fateful May day, when she had been to see Andy Brown...

She forced her mind away from the subject. It just made her angry, and then it hurt. It was easier to pretend that the Brown family didn't exist at all. It was easier to pretend that none of the past year had happened. That it was some kind of dream. Of course, that did make her slightly rounded stomach a little hard to explain.

The curtain that was pulled around the area rustled, and a face appeared.

"I'm not late, right?"

Madison smiled as Mindy appeared next to her. Over the past month, she had proved that she was a real friend a hundred million times over. Not only had she just hugged Madison when she'd told her the news, she'd been there for the talk with Madison's Mom, and even agreed to the move to Denver without any hesitation, even though it meant transferring to a new community college.

"Naa. I think there gonna be here any minute."

Mindy reached over and laid her hand on Madison's stomach. Sixteen weeks was too soon for anyone but Madison to feel the butterfly like movements of her child, but it was a simple act of comfort that Madison appreciated.

Madison shivered slightly. It was August, and the Denver heat was blazing outside, but here in the hospital someone had set the air conditioning slightly too high. She didn't really mind though. It kind of suited her in a way. The chill in the air matched her mood. She supposed she should feel joy, or fear, or upset, or... something. She just felt numb. It was like this kind of emotional paralysis. Like her heart had lost it's ability to feel, and everything was in limbo. In three months she should have been able to make a decision. But she still didn't know what to do.

An abortion was out of the question now. She'd simply left it too long, and even though it was still technically legal, it was too... messy. Too much like real death. Not something she'd ever be able to square with her conscience. Adoption was her best option. But that had one severe drawback; Ephram had to sign the papers too. It didn't seem like a good idea to go back to Everwood when she was looking like a beached whale and spring the baby on him just so she could get rid of it. Raising it by herself? Out of the question. As much as she loved kids, she couldn't handle one of her own. She had no money, no family, barely any friends. There was nothing she could offer a child.

So she was, in a word, screwed.

She hated herself for hoping for a miscarriage, but now that was pretty unlikely. In five months she'd have a child of her own to look after. That wasn't something she could really comprehend. The thought of abandoning her child at a church or something had crossed her mind more than once. And that made her hate herself even more.

She wondered briefly if all of this confusion was her hormones, or if it was inner turmoil brought on by the guilt of sleeping with a 16 year old. One day she though one thing, and the next day the other.

Madison was snapped out of her reverie by the entrance of the nurse. She smiled as she recognized it as the same one who had done her exam a month ago. The nurse didn't recognize her though. In this city, she was just another faceless nobody.

Madison couldn't get used to the city. She was a small-town girl. Or she had been, until she'd been driven from her small town by a New York City doctor and her own mother. Life truly sucked sometimes.

The gel for the sonogram machine was cold and it made her jump. The nurse hadn't even warned her before applying it and rubbing it around with the wand. Than again, if she'd been paying attention she would have noticed.

"You're how many weeks along?"

"16"

"And you're feeling movement?"

"Yea, for the last week or so. It kind of feels like butterflies... or bubbles."

Madison noticed the delicate roll of the nurse's eyes. She was willing to bet the nurse had never been pregnant.

"And the father?"

"Not around." Madison felt Mindy pick up her hand and squeeze it lightly in support.

"Ok." The nurse stopped abruptly. "As far as I can see you have a perfectly healthy baby boy. A picture will print out for you in about a minute. There are paper towels to get yourself cleaned up.

"You should get a letter about your next clinic appointment. You're not high risk, so I guess it won't be for another two months or so." With that the nurse left. Just another piece of evidence that Madison didn't matter. Or her son.

Her son.

"You have to tell him," Mindy said finally.

"Huh?"

"Ephram. You have to tell him about his son. He deserves to know."

"No."

"Ugh, Madison. You're too damn stubborn, you know that? His Dad knows, and someday he's gonna crack and tell Ephram, or Ephram's going to overhear by accident. Trust me that would not be a good thing. You need to call him, or write to him, or anything. Just tell him."

"No"

"Madison!"

"What am I going to say? Uh, I broke up with you and broke your heart, but now even though you're with the girl you always wanted I'm here to ruin your life."

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'I'm pregnant, Ephram and you need to take some kind of responsibility.' Besides, he's a good kid. I think he'd want to help."

"But that's the point Mindy! He's a kid. He's 17! Do you remember being 17? I do. The biggest thing I had to worry about was what color nail polish to wear."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't exactly have a choice. Dr Brown did what he had to for his son, now I'm going to do what I have to for mine."

A/N part 2: Ok, I just wanted to say hi, thanks for all the reviews and also say what my fanfic planns are. There is one final part of the 'Accidental' universe to come, and that is a multi part story about the wedding. It should be up soon, if I can find time to type it out. I'm off to University this week, so I guess I'll be a little busy. Anyway, then there's 'Wrong' which is the one I wrote a little preview of before. It's on the back burner, because I decided to take a totally different direction with it than I first planned. I've also finished my Joan of Arcadia fic, finally, so check that out even though I don't think it's as good as my Everwood stuff. So to recap, there's plenty of stuff coming, I'm just not sure when.


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